Friday, May 13, 2011

Could I interest you in a scone? Some strata?

I really enjoy entertaining people in my home, and in particular, I like making food for them.  As my cooking skills are only passable, I often pass on dinner, opting instead to invite people for brunch, where my adept baking skills (practice, practice, practice!) can take center stage. An egg dish, a salad, some meat, if appropriate, some scones and coffee cake: what's not to love?  Brunch is informal, child and booze friendly, and has no defined stopping point (I've had brunches that ran until 7 pm). 

The only problem with brunch is, well, let me be blunt: brunch happens around the time of day when many people take care of some personal business.  You know what I mean.

Some folks are more inhibited or self-conscious about these things than others are.  It's natural, yes, but it's not something most of us want to share with a crowd.  I don't want you to know when I do it, you don't want me to know when you do it, and none of us wants to know when someone else is doing it.*  Because it is the primary duty of a hostess to make her guests feel as relaxed and comfortable as possible, I offer this

Tip For You:  About 15 minutes before your guests are scheduled to arrive, light a candle (scented or unscented, your choice) in the bathroom.  They are effective odor eliminators, enabling people to go about their business while the rest of your party remains delightfully unawares.  Matches are a distant second to candles in this capacity, largely because they require the guest to take affirmative action, fumbling about with wet, or worse, unwashed, hands, but also because they sort of scream "I just lit a match!"  Remember: ease, subtlety and comfort are what you're striving for.

I have nothing to say about those nasty aerosol room "deodorizers" except that they should never, ever be found in your home.  Ever. 

*To be clear, I'm talking about BMs, not self-love.  It's never OK to make love to yourself during someone's brunch party.  Making love with another person could, if done quickly and discretely, be excused, but engaging in self-love displays, at best, a bizarre lack of self-control.

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